I've Been So Busy...

I've been pre-reading for people. I've been beta-ing for my usual people. And, now that the I <3 Mobward contest is going on, I've been emergency beta-ing for some of those entries, too.

Bitch almost doesn't have time to read for pleasure anymore.



But that's okay because I love to read. That's pretty much all I do. For realz. I have sinks full of dishes I could be doing right now, but who really wants to do that, anyway?



See? I have lots of other things I should be doing, but they won't get done. Plus, I've ignored that show This Is Us all season and tonight is the season finale (And when did they start making tv seasons so short? I blame Ryan Murphy and Kurt Sutter, yo.) and I won't be watching that until I can binge watch the whole season at once.

Yeah, I'm busy.



So what's new with you? How's every little thing? Things are much better in the old SarcasticBimbo household now that toxic waste is no longer coming out of her various orifices.



Jeez... my bad.

Anyway, back to my being busy... I have no theme for this week's blog. I was able to read three stories this week, so I guess that will have to be the theme. Seriously, none of the stories I read have anything in common except for the character names. But that's okay.

First up is the story The Honeymoons Over by JustForkIt.

Summary: What happens when the honeymoons over and you have to start dealing with life? Edward and Bella learn that being married isn't always easy and crazy MIL's dont just go away.

I admit the bad punctuation in the summary almost made me decide not to read it, but I decided to suck it up and read it. And, boy, I'm glad I did.

This story was terrific. The story starts with a prologue that has Bella crying in bed after the first big fight she and Edward had after getting married. Each chapter starts with a snippet of present day events, and then goes into the past, working its way forward until the prologue.

What happens in the story is that Edward and Bella have been together six years and just got married. Edward's mother hates Bella and does whatever she can to make Bella look bad, or try to break them up. Bella puts up with it because she loves Edward, but she does complain to him which puts him in the middle.

Until, one day, after putting on a show of getting along with Bella for a time, she ambushes her with Edward's ex, Tanya, who lets it slip that happened after Edward broke up with Bella because he knew she wanted to get married and she was afraid of commitment.

It was something he never told Bella about, and when Tanya, who Edward's mother just loves, lets it slip, Esme and Tanya think that will make them break up for good and that they've won their battle to get him away from Bella.

Yes, the story has technical issues (punctuation being a major one) but if you can ignore those, the story itself is fantastic. You really need to go read this one.

Unfortunately, there's no banner picture for this story so I found something I liked for it:





The Honeymoons Over can be found here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4762484/1/The-Honeymoons-Over

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The second story this week is called Falling For You by GreenEyedGirl17. There is no summary provided for this story.

I've read this story three times now, and while I really enjoyed it the first two times, I enjoyed it a little less this last time. Don't get me wrong, it's a good story. I would still recommend it to people, but Bella's pretty whiny in this one and she got on my nerves.

However, she does have good reasons for being whiny. The story starts out with her being a 23-year-old virgin, so that's got her getting whiny right from the get go. She's also sworn off men because all the men she's met until this point, and she was engaged at one time, have all been losers. Hence, the past tense status of her engagement.

Then, the clouds parted and the heavens sang and at an employee get-together thrown by her boss, pediatric cardiologist Carlisle Cullen, she meets his son (and the man of her dreams), Edward. So, life's looking up, right?

You would think so, wouldn't you? Alas, not for poor Bella. He's ten years older than she is and she thinks he would never want to be with her. He's ten years older than she is and has two kids and he thinks she'd never want to be with him. But they have a first date and it's pretty fantastic.

Then he doesn't call her for a week straight and she thinks he's just blown her off. Meanwhile, he's had a busy week at work and one of his daughters sent his phone on an adventure in the sink. Poor phone.

They eventually decide that they're it for each other, but then Bella acquires a stalker and Edward's older daughter hates Bella and so does his ex-wife, Tanya. So, like I said, the girl definitely has the right to be whiny. It just got on my nerves.

They face those obstacles, and others, on their way to happily ever after, but they eventually get there.

I definitely like this story. I read it three times over the past few years, after all.

Falling For You can be found here:

http://www.twilighted.net/viewstory.php?sid=6173

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The third story for this week is called In The Deepest Space by loss4words. 

Summary: What will happen to the astronaut, Bella Swan, when she is unable to make it back to her ship on Mars and close to death? Who will come to her rescue and what will she learn about what else is "out there?" Rated Mature for language and lemons.

I liked the story. The story aspect of it is good. That being said, when the story is in Bella's point of view, it's engaging and readable. When it's in anybody else's point of view, however, the alien-speak is annoying at best and makes you want to pull your hair out at worst.

Thankfully, while there are a lot of instances where the story is not in BPOV, it's not enough to overtake the story and make you want to stop reading it entirely. At least, it didn't make me want to stop reading it entirely, and I'm not a very patient person.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'll put up with a lot if a story is good. Just as MeteorOnAMoonlessNight (aka: Lara Poe Norman), she'll tell you that I will read through the most heinous stories just to see how bad they get, but this one is good. Trust me. If you like sci-fi, this one is right up your alley.

Anyway, Bella is an astronaut doing a spacewalk on Mars when she runs out of breathable air in her spacesuit and dies. She is rescued by two aliens, Esssme and Emmeet (all the names are spelled just a little off from their Twilight names), who bring her to their spaceship and revive her. She instantly mates with another alien, Edwaird.

Once they get to their home planet, some very surprising things are found out about Bella. Things that will have an impact on everyone on her new home planet.



In The Deepest Space can be found here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9617931/1/In-The-Deepest-Space

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I know, I know. With how much I complained about aspect of some of these stories it doesn't seem like I should be recommending them, right?

Well, I have an answer for that. Just because I don't enjoy every single bit of a story, doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, overall.

Anyway, give these stories a chance. I think you'll like them.

Now, I have to go back to being busy. I have more pre-reading and beta-ing to do. And, of course, I need to read a bunch for the pleasure I get from recommending them in this blog.


I know I've used this GIF before, but I just love it. And every time I see this GIF...

...I hear this song. Bwhahahahahahaha!!!

So, until next week, MOVE BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY! GET OUT THE WAY, BITCH, GET OUT THE WAY!