You Know What Today Is, Right?

Because yesterday was my birthday, Johnny. Didn't you get the memo?

Awww, thanks, Tony Stark. Where's my fabulous present?



That's right. Be thankful.



No, wait. It was my birthday yesterday. Right.

So, I accomplished my lofty goal of doing absolutely nothing productive and spent the majority of the day high. It was the perfect day, really.

The only thing that could have made it better is a better location. You know; something like this ...



... with someone who looks like this to rub the sunscreen on me.



Other than that, it was a perfect day. 

I got lots and lots of birthday wishes on Facebook. If I missed replying to one, thank you so much.

Today, however, it's migraine central up in this bitch.



Feel sorry for me. 



Dang! Tough crowd. Um, no. I said I have a migraine. Plus, I can't actually speak on here. So, you're totally wrong.





So, neener, neener, neener! Take that!



So you're probably wanting me to get on with the recs right now, aren't you?



I'm having too much fun annoying you with the GIFs. 



My bad. I'll get on with the recs.

First, though, I should probably let you know that this week I'm featuring all VampWard stories.



I know, right? VampWard's totally hot.

I know, I just keep going back to him. Time after time.



First up is a story called The Bella Swan Scholarship Fund by eiluned price.

Summary: Bella's discovery of an unwanted gift provokes an unintended reaction.

Four months after the Cullens left her, Bella walks into the bank to deposit her paycheck when Mrs. Stanley (Jessica's mother) gives her a receipt of all recent deposits in her account and finds out that a $20,000.00 deposit was made approximately three weeks before.

Bella asks where it comes from, and after a few phone calls, it's explained that she was awarded the J. Nichols Scholarship from the Pacific Northwest Trust. Along with that, after the initial $20,000.00, she can expect to receive and additional $5,000.00 per month until her college career is over. No strings attached.

It's at that moment that Bella's depression and grief over losing Edward are replaced by something else. Rage.

Bella sees it as just another way for Edward to control her. Of making sure she stays a good girl and goes to school, just like he intended for her. Not only that, but she sees it as his way of keeping her quiet about the fact that they are vampires, so she is insulted, as well.

That night, she starts to plan. She goes to Port Angeles and opens a new bank account, buys some books and a sturdy backpack and decides she's going to go to Europe. She has a hard time convincing Charlie that dropping out of school and doing something just for herself is what's best for her, but eventually, she does.

She starts with London, exploring museums and libraries and wearing herself out every day, learning to navigate the city. She is there some weeks and is finally starting to feel comfortable in the city when her nightmares return with a vengeance. So much so that it disturbs the other residents of the hostel where she's been staying and is asked to leave. 

She goes from there to Rome. She finds a decent place to stay and starts exploring, along with finding a tutor to teach her Italian. She does well enough that the tutor gets her in touch with someone who leads tours who needs an assistant. So she has a job, of sorts, and is getting along well in Rome. Until the nightmares come back for her again after a call home to Charlie. 

He tells her that the bears everyone had been seeing in the woods before she left home had turned out not to be bears at all. They were giant wolves. And they wouldn't have found out if not for a bonfire that had been set. A bonfire that gave off purple smoke and stank like toxic waste.

The nightmares came back with a vengeance after that, and she was asked to leave once again.

This time, she opts to go to Florence by train, however, there is a strike, and traveling by train turns into riding a bus, instead. So, she gets on the bus provided by the railroad and when the driver gets on and announces their destination, Bella can hear something in the voice of the driver that makes her look up and take notice of who is driving. It turns out that the very beautiful driver is a vampire.

I'm not going to give you anything else. You'll have to read the story to find out what happens. It's only ten chapters, and extremely well-written. Give it a shot.

There's no banner for this story so here's a pic from New Moon:



The Bella Swan Scholarship Fund can be found here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6993916/1/The-Bella-Swan-Scholarship-Fund

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next up, Abbracciare il Cantante by AKABrattyVamp.

Summary: I am re-posting the first fanfic I ever wrote. It is not edited, or unchanged at all. Way back in the day, I wondered what would have happened if Edward left Forks when Bella arrived. SM provided awesome characters and inspiration. All of the what-ifs were mine. The mistakes are mine, too.

As the summary indicates, this story is being re-posted after she pulled it, so this is my second time reading it.

Edward and the Cullens left Forks after that horrible first meeting of Bella in his Biology class. But nothing was the same for Edward after that fateful day.

What had previously been merely difficult, drinking the blood of animals instead that of humans, was made almost impossible for Edward after he scented Bella's blood. What had been merely unsatisfying and unpalatable, became even worse each time he fed and remembered Bella's scent.

He became even more surly and depressed, so two years after the family left Forks, he decided to give them a break and go to Dartmouth by himself. He kept her scent in his mind as a frame of reference so he would never be taken by surprise by something like that again.

Until she showed up in one of his classes.

This is a fantastic story, and I'm really enjoying reading it for the second time; as a WIP this time.

Abbracciare il Cantante can be found here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12389830/1/Abbracciare-Il-Cantante

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And, last but not least for this week, I have Bellaria by pattyrose.

Summary: It is said that in the high middle ages, and in the midst of an unspeakable betrayal, a young knight made a timeless vow to his beloved wife, Bellaria: "Wait for me. I will find you…as always…for always."

I'm just going to tell you right now that the tagline for this fic, "Wait for me. I will find you...as always...for always.", gives me goosebumps every damn time I read it.

This story starts out with a young knight, Edward, working in the fields of the castle of the lord of the manor, alongside his new wife of four months, Bellaria.

She was the daughter of the property owner and was promised to be married to someone else, Lord Jakob. But when her father left to London on business for the King of England, she took the opportunity afforded to her and married her true love.

Now, her father was back and it was time to tell him the truth, but Edward decides to go alone to the castle. To tell her father what they had done, and let him know that now he was married to his daughter, he would be even more valuable to his master.

But, Lord Karles was angry at their union, so much so that he tried to get them to renounce their marriage. But the man was so angry that he killed his daughter for her defiance and had Edward killed, as well. 

Except, Edward didn't die. He was turned into a vampire and waited for over a thousand years for his Bellaria to return.

Bella Cullen was the daughter of Dr. Carlisle Cullen and a new professor of medieval studies, focusing on the Middle Ages. A time of knights and fair maidens, as the romantic stories of today would have you believe.

Bella begins her first lecture disputing just that romantic notion when she is interrupted by an intense young man in the back row; Edward Masen. He tells her of a legend that didn't make it into the history books. A legend of a young knight who was brave and true, and his love, his wife, whom the legend centered around.

The story goes on with this Edward Masen trying to get Bella to believe this legend. To remember her past life as Bellaria. Her past life with him.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I am loving this story. pattyrose has another masterpiece in the making here. She is among my favorite authors and it's a pleasure to take this journey with her.

Bellaria can be found here:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12208491/1/Bellaria

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I lied. I have one more for you. It's a ficlet, really. A mini-fic, if you will.

LyricalKris PM'd me yesterday on Facebook, asking me for a pairing and a prompt.

Behold, my birthday gift:

Cullen Corp was a great company to work for. They were still family owned, and the family paid their employees well. They had good benefits and plenty of perks.

Bi-annually, the Cullens went all out on a week long team-building seminar. It was a week of great rooms, great food, and great fun. There was a lot of great information passed along in the daytime hours, but the nighttime, well, all bets were off.

This year’s seminar was in Vegas. The third evening, the whole crew was gathered. Everyone had finished dinner--a spectacularly fancy meal served up buffet style--and had slowly migrated so their chairs were placed more haphazardly near each other rather than pulled up to a table.

Edward, the manager of one of the corporations two sales teams, had found himself sitting next to the manager of the other team, Bella. They enjoyed a friendly rivalry, each of them trying to one-up the other. But while they were both over-competitive, they actually enjoyed each other’s company.

The music cut off, and Edward and Bella looked to the front of the room where the Cullen brothers, CEO Carlisle Cullen and CFO Emmett Cullen, were taking the center of the dance floor. “Ooh, what’s this?” Edward muttered under his breath, noting that Carlisle--usually immaculate in his well-tailored suits, was currently wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and he had a knit cap in his hands.

“Is he blushing?” Bella asked, tilting her head toward Edward.

Edward laughed. “I didn’t know a human being could turn that color…”

Carlisle cleared his throat. “So. We thought we’d have a little fun tonight. Well, a little more fun, at any rate. We were going to ask some of the managers to do a lip sync battle for you.”

The crowd whooped. One of Edward’s employees slapped him on the back. He and Bella exchanged nervous, but amused, glances.

“But we can’t ask you to make fools of yourself without being willing to do the same,” Emmett said. He clapped Carlisle’s shoulder. “So, I challenged my big brother here to start us off.”

“He plied me with too many shots and dared me,” Carlisle said, shaking his head and turning an even deeper color red. “I’m honor-bound not to back down from a dare. So, uh… I suppose I have to warn you that this is a not safe for work moment, and I’m deeply, deeply sorry.”

This announcement was met with more cheers. Bella leaned in to whisper in Edward’s ear. “Do you have your phone on you? I have a feeling this is going to be excellent black-mail material.”

But many of the other employees had them covered, whipping out phones as Carlisle extended a hand for his beautiful wife to join him. Edward’s eyes went wide as the first chords of “Doin’ It” by LL Cool J started up.

“Oh, shit,” he muttered under his breath.

Beside him Bella squeaked and covered her face with her hands, peeking through her fingers. “He’s not really--”

But he did. For the next few minutes, they were treated to the big boss, along with his curvaceous wife, lip syncing and dancing. There was something very wrong about his waspy WASP-WASP of a boss and his sweet but very high-society wife getting down to lyrics like, “I guarantee shorty it’s real, baby stick it out. Here comes the man of steel.”

Edward’s face was hot as lava with second-hand embarrassment, but he was laughing so hard his sides ached. Beside him, Bella keeled over, hiding her face on his shoulder as she shook with laughter. The room was so full of hoots and hollers, they could barely hear the music. That might have been a blessing, though. The pantomime was bad enough.

“I am not nearly drunk enough to deal with the fact that just happened,” Carlisle announced after the whistles and applause died down.

“Neither am I,” Edward and Bella muttered in unison. They looked at each other and laughed.

“You know what’s worse than making a fool out of yourself in front of a hundred a sixty two of your employees?” Emmett asked, slinging an arm around his brother’s shoulders. “Having to follow that act. But some poor sucker has to do it. Edward Masen and Bella Swan.”

Edward and Bella both sat up ramrod straight, eyes wide as they pulled their attention front and center.

Emmett tilted his head, grinning at them. “This is a lip sync battle. Winner gets dinner for their whole team. Your people work hard to make you look good. Time to work hard for them. Come on up.”

“Ah, fuck.”

******************************

Maybe, if enough of us beg her, she will continue this farce? Do you think? I hope so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next week, I desperately need someone to guest star with the recs. I've been dying to re-read Cullenary Coupling by bookishqua for a while now but it takes me around a week to read it because that fucker is huge. It's a complete reimagining of the entire Twilight saga, and it's over 1.2 million words.

Please.



Anyone?



Please, oh, pretty please.



If you're willing to do it, let me know soon. I want to get started on that bad boy, ASAP.

Anyway, my work here is done for another week. I must now bid you a fond farewell.